Every adult has probably heard about BDSM, whether you’ve seen it on the big screen or you’ve had a fun experience. Usually, people get intimidated just by hearing about BDSM, thinking that they could never actually get into it. But you’d be surprised to learn just how big of an umbrella term the BDSM actually is.
This is a sexual activity that encompasses a lot of things, anything from being tied up with light spanking to hardcore bondage, hooks, nipple clamps, and more. Of course, BDSM is not for everyone, and that is OK! But, if you’ve ever had a dream about being blindfolded, gagged, and shagged, maybe you might want to learn more about this fetish and how to get into it.
The key to this fetish is to start slow. Many people are afraid to even get into it because they immediately jump to the most extreme activities. But as was mentioned, BDSM has different layers. It is not all about the whacking, smacking, and gagging. There is a lot more to this fetish than its most extreme activities. Although, if that is what you are into, good for you.
So, what is a good way to start your very first BDSM activity? Well, it goes without saying that you should stay away from hardcore toys, like whips, fire, candles, and stuff like that. Instead, stick to the more beginner-friendly toys, like blindfolds, ball gags, some restraints, soft paddles, etc.
The BDSM fetish does not have to be an expensive one. If you are just starting out, you should not be wasting money on BDSM-labeled toys. Yes, that can be incredibly alluring, all those fancy chains, rope, blah blah blah. But, why would you purchase any of that if you don’t even know whether you like this fetish?
First, you should improvise. Use a bed sheet, scarf, or things like that as restraints. You can use similar things instead of ball gags and blindfolds. Not to mention the whip-substitutes as well. Find things around the house that could potentially be DIY BDSM toys and start with those first. They might not be as thrilling as branded toys, but they will do the job for beginners.
Here are some good examples:
Before you get into any of this, you will need a partner. You are more than welcome to try BDSM on your own… but that sort of defeats the whole purpose of the fetish. Anyway, if you want to try BDSM for the first time, you need to make sure that you and your partner are on the same page.
There needs to be a conversation before you engage in any sort of play where one of the parties will be tied up, gagged, etc. First of all, you need to set your limits. One of the golden rules is to have a ‘safe word.’ When either party says this word, all activities must stop. You need to respect your partner’s boundaries if you want to enjoy the beauty of BDSM lovemaking truly.
There’s nothing quite like injury or trauma to make you hate the fetish before you even properly try it. In simple words, don’t be a dick, and respect your partner’s boundaries. Also, learn how to take ‘No.’ for an answer. A lot of people apparently don’t know how to do that.
Want to make things interesting; well, role play always does the trick. You could get into your roles, dress as your favorite fictional characters, and enjoy using toys. Of course, before you get down to dirty business, you should agree on the toys that you will be using during the session. As was mentioned, consent is important, guys and girls.
A good first-time scenario would be bondage and discipline. This can include tying up your partner, making them unable to speak, and teasing them with pleasure. This can include spanking with your hand, using soft items for tickling, using a paddle, denying your partner pleasure (edging), pinching and biting (if that’s what they are into), etc.
How you choose to experience the BDSM fetish for the first time might make you hate the fetish before you actually get to experience the beauty of it. This is why it is important that you do some research before jumping into such an unknown territory. Usually, as long as you have good communication with your partner and you do not try anything super extreme for your first time, you are on a good path to having a toe-curling experience!